His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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