My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
