well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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