Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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