hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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