just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
