Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
