I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it was like eating out sand paper
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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