i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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