We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
my liver is dry heaving
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
