wanna go halves on a baby?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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