I look better un-naked...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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