I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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