I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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