I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
