would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
