She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize