Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
