I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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