mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
