You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
