Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
