did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize