dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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