Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
