Sponge bath it is.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think I sprained my soul last night
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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