I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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