I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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