Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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