I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
