you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
