We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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