whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My hand turned me down
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
