Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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