Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
