im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
im holly from the hills drunk
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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