I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize