he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
