UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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