But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
