I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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