I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize