you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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