..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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