Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
