on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
