She's like a pop up book from hell.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
