I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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