there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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