Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
