I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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