ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
