I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
