i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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