We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
