I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
