He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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