Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
