I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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