No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
