I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
