she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
