So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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