i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
