It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize