I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
