I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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