That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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