just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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