You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize