if you like me you must not know who I am
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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