So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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