No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
