Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
