I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
