I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize