Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
