So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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